Monday, February 27, 2012

Mondays With the Maid

If you are a mother or wife, chances are real good you are also the maid.  I don't mind really.  I am a little OCD and my husband is a little not OCD.  To him, doing laundry means washing clothes and drying clothes.  All of them.  Mixed together.  On high heat so it is done efficiently.  Luckily I learned this about him very early on while we lived separately and before he could ruin an expensive bra, or cause jean depression (we have all suffered needlessly from this ailment caused by jeans being put in the dryer).  Cleaning house means moving everything to a different spot where no one will see it, including me.  As a result of this (as well as the fact that he works like, sixty hours a week and I work like, eighteen),  I am the maid.

Little known fact: I was previously married.  It did not go well (hence the previously).  After the divorce, a good Samaritan left this book
on my mothers porch.  I'm sure this anonymous donor was someone I knew who may or may not have critiqued my mother's housekeeping skills... ass.

The book did not have it's intended effect, as my mother and I laughed and continue to laugh about it to this day.  I kept the book because it is full of good ideas (and some comical ones), and I keep the book (and enjoy it) out of spite.  I have found it extremely gratifying to enjoy things simply out of spite.  Try it sometime, you might be surprised how enjoyable it can be.

I have decided to continue my spiting (I was surprised it was a word too!) of this someone who may have also critiqued my housekeeping skills (and I'm sure is positive I currently live in squalor) by starting Monday's with the maid.  I will share tips from the book my mother received as a gift (snort).  Sometimes they will be good and sometimes they will be laughable.  I will also share things I have learned along my housekeeping journey (Do you know how to get Sharpie out of carpet?  I do.).  Next Monday I will introduce you to the best cleaning product I have ever used.  Period.  You should check it out.  I bet you will be shocked and use it everywhere just to see if it will work... and it will.  Stay tuned!

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